Always Welcome Back…

It’s been a looooong running joke between my brother and I. “Always welcome back” was my motto for work because I returned to crisis services every few years and never really needed to interview. We would do the necessary HR steps for hiring, but I was always welcome back. Once my brother heard that catch phrase, he made it his own and often uses it to convince me to move back South.

To really understand the importance of my relationship with my brother, we have to go back to when I was nine. My brother is nine years older than me. And we have only lived together for 4 months when I was 4 years old. I barely remember that time except that he had horror movie posters in his room that scared me. I thought they would come alive at night, leave his walls, and crawl into my room.

I remember when I was nine though. Vividly. I attended his high school graduation in Shreveport, LA. It was 1993. Their graduation song was “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men, which was performed by two girls that missed the mark. Sorry to whoever those girls were. I have high expectations for any Boyz covers. I don’t recall much else until they started calling names to walk across the stage. And I saw my brother. In his royal blue cap and gown, he was a full foot taller than anyone else on the stage. He stands at 6’6″. And back then he had long auburn hair. Needless to say, he was hard to miss. As he walked up to shake the principal’s hand and grab the leather covered diploma holder I realized exactly who this person was to my life, my brother….

From then on, he watched me grow into a teen. He was the one who convinced my parents to let a 15 year old hang out on Beale St in Memphis for a whole weekend. He was the one who introduced me to countless bands and took me to concerts. He was the one who taught me how to mic and sound check for live shows. He’s the one who kept all my secrets when I would visit him, his friends greeting me with drinks and freshly packed bongs. He was the one that drunkenly danced with me in a random gas station when we stopped for gas on our way to Lollapalooza in Dallas, TX.

As I moved into adulthood, we realized that we are kindred spirits. We always say we are soul mates – friends that inspire each other, that unconditionally love each other, that fully accept and believe in one another, that can know what the other is thinking on some subconscious level. That’s us.

When he told me that he was planning to bring his family to WA, I was so overjoyed I actually jumped around my house screaming with the biggest fucking smile on my face. We had not seen each other since Christmas of 2019, pre-COVID. Before our father’s death, we did not see each other much at all once I moved to WA. Now, I was on a mission. I spent down time at work planning our itinerary – finding new experiences, kid friendly places, and spots in the great outdoors. I scheduled trips after staff meetings and decided I would work random hours in order to conserve my vacation time but still do as much as possible with them while they were here. At home, I massively deep cleaned everything. I was prepping rooms and getting furniture and bedding together to ensure that they didn’t need any hotel stays. I borrowed a Tahoe from my friend so that we could all fit in one vehicle and avoid spending $1300 on a rental SUV. The beauty of planning this whole visit was that we didn’t need much communication. We just knew. We know each other so well that I only called him once, the night before their flight, and we knew we were set to go.

After an early wake up and over 12 hours in the Dallas airport facing flight delay after flight delay after flight delay, they finally arrived in Seattle (with lots of new neck pillows and entertainment). And there he was, still standing at 6’6″, waving his long ass arms so I could see him in the arrival pick up line before could even find a spot to park. We loaded up the Tahoe, and I drove us south to home base.

Day One: Mount Rainier

After my case manager meeting, we took off for Mt. Rainier. From my home, it’s about a 2 hour drive depending on traffic and how many stops you make along the way. The park itself had been opened since the spring even if the visitor center remained closed due to COVID. As we made the drive, we talked about the tall trees, how expensive gas is, the beautiful weather we were blessed with, and how the mountain looks fake from a distance. My nephew stated it first, and I told him I still feel that way after 14 years of seeing it. As we passed Alder Lake on Hwy 7, I realized just how blue the water was as Jon mentioned it. In the South, you typically find water stained brown by silt. Winding rivers that eventually turned into oxbow lakes. This water was the clearest turquoise. I vowed at that moment to come back with Stone to potentially camp and kayak. We made our way to Paradise and quickly discovered that the mountain was still covered in snow. Snow that was turning into slush in the heat. And the slush was melting into a low flowing river in the parking lot. The kids quickly took off, ready to throw snowballs and experience a frozen volcano. I had wanted to take them on the short mile walk to view Myrtle Falls. However, the trail was completely covered in snow. So much snow that we learned we were standing on over 5 feet of snow pack and witnessing the tops of trees poking through.

From Paradise, we headed back towards Ashford and stopped at a few of my favorite spots right off the main road. Narada Falls is a horsetail waterfall that drops 188 feet in two tiers. There’s a short hike down to a viewpoint for the lower falls. The water flow was so heavy that it sprayed Stone and I as we ventured down to the viewpoint. Stone tried to hide behind me to avoid getting splashed. It was cold, full force air. I quickly took a few photos, and to my surprise, I caught a waterfall! By the time we got back up to the top, we were soaked. I didn’t notice that my sister in law had been taking photos of us as we ran back to safety, and I’m glad she did.

We stopped a couple more times to get a few photos of the kids with Rainier in the background, although they were refusing smile in sync. We have some funny mean mug images now that we can hold on to for future yearbook photos. We also stopped to view Christine Falls from downstream. The lower tier drops 37 feet, falling under the Christine Falls Bridge. I also just discovered that the falls are named for the daughter of P.B. Van Trump, who at nine years old accompanied her dad on an ascent of Mt. Rainier, making it to 10,000 feet.

On our way back home, we stopped to eat at the Rainier BaseCamp Bar and Grill in Ashford. The bar and grill is part of the larger Rainier BaseCamp Area which offers a variety of services for those visiting Rainier, from tourists to avid mountaineers. You can rent gear for hiking, find supplies for summitting, get a packed lunch for the trail, or find lodging. All around the open air eatery, you can find photos of various summits: Denali in Alaska, Aconcagua in the Andes, Mt. Elbrus in the Caucasus Mountains. After reading “Into Thin Air”, I have no desire to mountain climb. At all.

The general vibe at BaseCamp was pretty laid back. Lot of folks hanging around in their Patagonia/Columbia/North face outfits getting harnesses and ropes together. There’s this strange outdoor vibe that places like this give off though, and at times (really most times) you feel like an outsider entering some secret club where you don’t know the handshake or the proper lexicon. But we were only there for the food. We had pizza, bun-less burgers, pickles, and chips. I had the black bean burger lettuce wrapped and it was delicious! Afterwards, my niece and nephew walked to a small shop/cafe for ice cream. And my sister in law got me a cappuccino. They really know my love language!

Day Two: Astoria and Cannon Beach

We left earlier in the morning for our trip to Astoria, OR since I didn’t have to attend any virtual meetings or check ins. Every time I heard anyone in the PNW mention Astoria, it was in regard to the movie “The Goonies” which was filmed both in Astoria and in Cannon Beach. But the history behind this small bay city is bigger than a 1980s film. Originally the land of the Clatsop Indigenous people, it was the last stop on Lewis and Clark’s mission to expand the United States “from sea to shining sea”. The Clatsop Tribe was allowed to keep their land until a few years later when the Pacific Fur Company established Fort Clatsop. If you connect the dots (as is with most of our history), the ideals of capitalism and colonialism took over from there. Astoria grew as a port city with accessibility to the mouth of the Columbia River, a major route for easy access to the interior of the West. Fun fact: the first US Postal Office west of the Mississippi was in Astoria. Who knew….

Once we reached town, after going over that big bridge over the Columbia River, we stopped at South Bay Wild Fish House for lunch. My brother is a master at finding local places to eat. Partially because he is health conscious. Partially because he is often hungry and never wants to be without a meal. And I can respect that. Nothing like being hangry around family and far from home. The Fish House appeared to be a favorite spot with folks lining up to get on the list for a table. We lucked out and got in early enough to only wait about 10 minutes. While we waited, we looked over the menu. I got Stone a plate of fries cause I knew he was not going to eat smoked fish. I opted for the smoked blackcod frybread. It came topped with a roasted red pepper tapenade and lemon shallot arugula. I found out later that the South Bay Wild Inc. is a family owned and operated fishing vessel. So I’m guessing that my meal was pretty fresh. And also….of course I got frybread. While not the same as going to a friend’s house in the community and sharing a meal or buying Indian Tacos on tribal land, I just miss it. And I have really missed powwow season. Sigh….

From there, we visited “The Goonies” house. You can’t park in the gravel driveway but thankfully you can walk up to take a quick photo. I must admit, I have not fully watched “The Goonies”. I think it was either before my time or my dad was too interested in historical dramas and war movies to watch it when I was young. I may need to watch it with Stone soon. Side note about movies and the PNW. I did watch “Free Willy” several times as a kid and know about those film locations. After watching it again as an adult with Stone, I realized that the skate park is Burnside in Portland, OR. The first DIY skatepark built without the city’s permission. And after visiting it and sitting around with guys drinking beer, I can say that fucking drop-in is terrifying. Anyway….

After getting our photo, we made our way to Cannon Beach to see Haystack Rock and allow the kids time to play. Now they can officially say they have been to the Pacific Ocean.

While the kids ran around, I drank an iced oat milke latte. I was hoping that my favorite spot in Cannon Beach, The Sleepy Monk, would be open but their hours were decreased to only the weekends. Which I guess makes sense for a small “tourist” town in the early stages of summer. I ended up at a cafe that was attached to an art gallery. Possibly the only coffee place open, the line was fairly long and only one woman was working the register and making drinks. These are the moments we tip well and avoid any judgments folks. I got my drink and one for Jon and made my way back to the entrance for the beach. We found a nice spot in the sand with plenty of space to distance from others on the beach. Folks were playing fetch with their dogs, running with kids, and lounging. I laughed watching these three goofballs throw wet sand at each other or try to jump over waves only to be taken out by a rogue wave.

After realizing that their toes and lips were turning either red or blue due to the cold, we had the kids take a break from the water and dry off in the sand. My brother had finished his coffee and the kids used his cup to make sand towers. We also had an interesting conversation about why we call them sand castles and not some other form of architecture. I would later find out that my sister in law has a bit of disdain for castles as they represent dark, twisted torture chambers. I’m also really sorry (not sorry) that you found out I paid money to go to a torture museum in Carcassonne, Liv. We can blame my historian dad for that one.

Once we felt that the kids were dried off and ready to switch gears, we headed for Seaside. I knew mentioning a carousel and ice cream would get them motivated. Stone rode the indoor carousel then played in the arcade with his cousins. And yes, I did use some of those arcade credits to play a basketball game. In my defense, I earned Stone some tickets. Together we played his favorite Jurassic Park game, tried our hand at winning the ticket jackpot, and raced through Death Valley in “Cruisin’ Blast”. Stone came in second place! My dude… He also won 155 arcade tickets which he cashed in for random toys.

On the walk back to the Tahoe, we stopped at Schweitert’s Cones and Candy to get the kids ice cream, and I bought some chocolates by the pound. If you have no self control around chocolate, this is not the place for you. There’s a little bit of everything and they have a vast selection of fudge. My limited cash on hand kept me from getting more than a half pound. The kids headed outside to sit on the cow bench in front of the building while digging in. The photo below cracks me up every time I see it. On the drive back home, I kept seeing a blue blob in the rear view and realized that it was the squid hat and it would instantly make me laugh. We stopped one more time on I-5 to get the kids chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers while my brother ordered us “adults” a fancy meal from a random restaurant in Chehalis. I got Cajun seasoned shrimp and shared some roasted zucchini and melted cheese and bread with Jon and Liv. It was so wonderful having all the kids in bed and sharing a meal at my dining room table. And in hindsight, that was the first meal I had had in that space since renovating the dining area. A perfect ending to the day.

Day Three: Ferry to Vashon Island

I got to start off my morning with a staff meeting and preparing for a massive heat wave that was scheduled to hit the PNW by the weekend. The weather was predicted intense heat up to 115 degrees by Sunday. We discussed how this could affect our housing participants as only 40% of housing in Washington state has air conditioning. I put together a few infographics for heat stroke vs heat exhausting, symptoms of dehydration, and tips for staying cool when you don’t have AC. While working, my brother surprised me with a 20 oz. cappuccino and a full breakfast with scrambled eggs, avocado, and turkey sausage. To say my brother takes case of me is an understatement. Really. Once my main tasks for the day were done, we drove to the Point Defiance terminal to catch the ferry to Vashon Island.

The WSDOT (WA State Dept. of Transportation) site was a bit confusing for me to calculate the cost of a ferry ride. There’s the charge for your vehicle, if you have one, and it’s based on the number of axels. The Tahoe has 2. Easy enough. But they also charge per person, including kids under the age of 5. So be warned if you decide to take a ferry in WA. I may just just been naive or overlooked it but it definitely surprised me. And also note that the ferry fees and schedule change depending on the season.

From the Talequah terminal, we drove along Vashon Hwy to the Vashon Island Baking Company. The kids got cookies, and I bought one of each gluten free item they had….as well as an iced latte. The usual. I ended up sharing the baked goods with a friend of mine who I invited to stay at my place during the heat wave. It makes eating a whole box of sweets seem less guilty I suppose cause I would have eaten them all. If you get a chance to stop by there. I highly recommend the almond cookies. While the kids ate their cookies, Liv and I went to a small vintage store to peruse. I had originally planned to take her to Raven’s Nest, an Indigenous art gallery located walking distance from the bakery. When we arrived, we discovered they were closing early due to the shop owner feeling ill. We window shopped and took note of the prints, jewelry, stickers, and ornaments we wanted to buy. The gallery features work by Master Artist/Carver Israel Shotridge (Tlingit name Kinstaádaál). Thankfully they have a website to purchase items. You can find their online shop here if you want to check it out too. It is absolutely beautiful work. We got lunch and snacks before moving on to our next stop, Point Robinson Lighthouse.

Point Robinson Lighthouse was built in 1914 by the U.S. Bureau of Lighthouses and is still a working lighthouse. Initially, the space held Vashon Island’s first fog signal, build in 1885. After that two keeper’s quarters were built and then the light house. The keeper’s quarters were fully restored and can now be rented. It’s a peaceful spot that looks out on the sound with stunning views of Mt. Rainier on a clear day. There is also the possibility of seeing one of our resident orca pods, but we weren’t so lucky. The walk from the parking lot to the lighthouse and beach is short and quick. The kids explored the lighthouse and beach while Jon and I took in the scenery and calm of the day on a nearby bench. I also got one of my favorite new photos of my brother and I seated on the lighthouse steps. Album cover worthy.

We got back to the Tahoe before evening set in. Then we boarded the ferry back to Point Defiance easily and made our way to I-5. Jon set Stone up with his I-pad and headphones so that he could watch shows on the drive back home. He quickly passed out.

Day Four: Farewell Seattle

Our last day together started late. We had stayed up until almost 3am the night before. I actually slept in til 11am, which is unheard of for me. My brother and his family had a red eye flight back home and didn’t need to be at Seatac until almost 9:30 at night. We had figured that we could go to Seattle later in the day to avoid being out in the coming heat with no set plan. I also didn’t want any time restrictions when we knew that they had a long flight ahead of them. After getting packed, eating, and getting showered and ready, we headed to 1820 E Thomas St in Central Seattle.

For passer-bys, these are the Coryell Court Apartments. For big time grunge fans, these are the apartments featured in the 1992 movie “Singles”. The movie is a romantic comedy about the lives of 20 somethings that live and work in Seattle, including living in these apartments. Characters either play the game, emotionally stay distant, struggle with changing themselves for another person, or become desperate to find love (the world’s worst cologne). It’s funny. It’s heartwarming. And the soundtrack is *chef’s kiss* a grunge dream with Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone, and Smashing Pumpkins. This also happens to be one of my favorite films. Those movie posters my brother had? This was one of them. All the way up until I was old enough to drive from Little Rock into Oklahoma to visit him. It was only necessary to bring him here.

From there we made our way to Occidental Square, another movie location. Tables were spaced out with people sitting and talking. A newlywed couple were taking their wedding photos between the two rows of London trees at the center of the park or in the ivy growing up the brick buildings. I took Jon and Liv’s photo in a similar fashion. The kids played on a small playground while I talked to an older man about how beautiful the photo spaces were. Jon found us a spot to eat called The Yardhouse where we could also watch game two of the NBA conference finals (Bucks vs. Hawks). I took a chance on some Korean BBQ tacos and was not disappointed.

After dinner, I wanted to take the kids on a ride on the Seattle Great Wheel at the waterfront. We happened to get there too late. With COVID restrictions, they were not filling the gondolas to full capacity. Instead, each gondola only held the members of your party. So some had six people while others had two. It was still a beautiful walk during golden hour around the water front and past Pike’s Place Market. I promised Stone that I would bring him back up to ride the ferris wheel another time. He still asks me about it. We got…you guessed it…ice cream for my niece and nephew while we explored the water front. We headed for the car and made it to the airport in time. After several rounds of hugs and goodbyes, Stone and I watched them walk through the automatic doors and back to their lives.

After they left, I had time to reflect on our week together. While we went to all these different places and took photos that will remind me of our time together, it honestly was the down time that I appreciate the most. We spent almost every night on my back patio, talking and drinking. My back patio has a large picnic table with string lights and plants. It was originally built by my ex-husband to hold his car parts and spare cars. It took a year to clear it out and clean it up so that people could hang out in a relaxing environment. I envisioned having dinners and small parties here after the pandemic, if there is an after. We watched sunsets together while my brother made downtowns. He was so jazzed when he found these Toschi Italian black cherries. We watched Pearl Jam’s live in Missoula hooked up to a bluetooth speaker outside. We laughed at our funny stories or attempts to open a wine bottle without a real opener. And we processed our pasts, analyzing how we were raised and where we grew up, how we wanted to change our futures by breaking those common cycles of families in the South, how we both leaned into our creative sides and went for it. Those open, honest moments are like a foundation of fulfilling relationships. And we have always had those moments, whether it was 4am at a Waffle House in Dallas or on my dad’s back deck playing guitar and singing. And on their last night here, we made a pact – once a year we will see each other, alternating who goes to who each year. That’s one commitment I will certainly hold on to.